Annabeth Chase's Guide to Writing Fanfiction
by Anhilare
Summary: Annabeth Chase is famous in our world and she knows it. So she decides to Google herself, and she stumbles across a website called Fanfiction. She reads some of our stories about her and she decides to give us some help, so she goes to the computer and types up some advice for us. Don't worry, it's for our own good. This story is complete. I'll update if something REALLY bothers me
1. I Have Arrived

Hello, everyone! My name's Annabeth.

I'm sure all of you know who I am.

I know that I, along with my obnoxious boyfriend and my friends, are the silent celebrities of the world right now.

It's been quite an honor.

Because of this, I have decided to Google myself and see what comes up. Nothing interesting, really. I then look at the 'Searches related to Annabeth Chase' prompt, and the first result on the second column had me interested. _What's a fanfiction?_ I wondered. And I do not regret finding out.

Our fans are such amazing people, so much so that they would sit down and devote some time, skill, and imagination to us.

Or lack thereof.

A big problem I have encountered while reading fanfictions is that the stories as a whole are riddled with clichés. They might have been great and creative when they were first brought to mind, but over time they have lost their grandeur and have become bland and unoriginal, which pains me because I know that all of you are capable of doing so much more. All of you are capable of creating original and unique ideas, but you decide to use overused and consequently cringeworthy material over and over again, to the point that finding an original fanfiction can become a task. It isn't a fun task, either, especially since I have college in New Rome and a boyfriend to babysit (a con of dating Percy Jackson). I don't have time to sit down and read through many fanfictions and find an original and **well-written** one. I want to _enjoy_ fanfiction, not analyze it.

Another issue that I need to address is **grammar**. Grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, _grammar._ If you write, try to write _well._ Everyone knows that spellcheck is terrible, _but many of you could_ _really_ _use it!_ If you would like a more advanced spellchecker that looks at more than just spelling, I would recommend Grammarly. Being dyslexic, it has helped me get a good grade on my essays _so many times._ If you really don't want to download Grammarly (for whatever reason), I'll be sure to highlight some common mistakes made by you and how you can fix them in a later chapter.

Well, this is just an introduction right now. I know it isn't very long, but I'll be sure to update regularly. Every Saturday, to be exact. If I don't update, that means that either I have important college stuff to do or I am going on a quest.

~Annabeth C.

* * *

 **Hello, everyone! My name's David.**

 **I'm sure none of you know who I am.  
**

 **I will try as hard as I can to update regularly. If for some reason I don't make the deadline, I will try to update as soon as I can.**

 **If you want this to become a real story, please let me know in a review and I will (somehow) turn it into one if enough people say so.**

 **This is my first fic. Please don't be alarmed that I'm a guy. I know that most authors here are girls (like what, 90-95%?), so all I ask of you is to not judge me.**

 **I don't like being judged. (Constructive criticism welcome!)**

 **Thanks in advance,**

 **~David V.**


	2. Updating and Relevance

**Of course my first update is late. That's how I roll, folks.**

 **But seriously, I have a reason (and it's not a bad reason, either!). My cousin and grandma were coming over, so we had to clean the house in order to impress them. We 'cleaned' for 12 hours (I was mostly messing around with my little sister). It was** _ **so**_ **much fun :)**

 **oh and i, like, forgot to do this last chapter (whoopsy-daisy), but i, like, dont own annabeth chase because human trafficking is, like, illegal. its also politically incorrect.**

 **So here's Ch. 2.**

* * *

Hey guys, Annabeth here with another chapter of _Annabeth Chase's Guide to Writing Fanfiction_.

In today's chapter, we're going to learn about _καιρ_ _ό_ _ς_

So during my epic quest to find a good fanfiction, I have discovered a disturbing trend in the more noteworthy stories.

They _rarely update._

I don't know about all of you folks, but I find it quite difficult to stay hooked on a story with 5 Chapters right now. Which was published in July 2016. "Updated: 12-25-16". _Don't do that!_

I cannot stress the importance of updating regularly. **(A/N: Ironic, I know)** If you want to have a popular story, write well and write _regularly._ Sure, you might be a good writer, but no one will care about your story if you never update.

You should also never update before 8:00 PST and after 23:00 EST. That's a 12-hour window. By far the most fanfiction users live in the USA (upwards of about 60%) and surrounding areas, so in order to maximize the audience gained by people scrolling through the 'Recent Updates' list, update during an optimal time period (late daytime, weekends/breaks, target toward US). The readers will pour in.

It's so obvious, even my boyfriend could tell you that.

Speaking of my boyfriend, I updated late because of Sally's new baby. Sally was gone Friday and Saturday in order to do a book signing, so Percy and I (mostly I) had to take care of her. You can imagine how much time I had to type.

You should always have an allocated time for typing each day. I fell to procrastination, something which has brought me consequences. If I had typed throughout the week, it would have been a matter of simply uploading the document, adding a new chapter, and checking if Percy accidentally killed the child in the few minutes I wasn't watching her (she lives).

If you're ambitious like me **(like me, too)** and you want your story to give an impression on your readers, the last thing you want is something like, "aw I like this story, but I'm going to categorize with these other stories I read because it's similar to them." You want them to create a whole new category for your story, and let it stand out on its own. For example, the _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_ universe has a special place in your minds, but _Hamlet_ is in the Shakespeare category. It doesn't stand out to you, it's just another boring play you're forced to read in ELA or AP Literature.

Now for the word _καιρός_. This word is in Ancient Greek (in Modern Greek it means something completely different) and it means 'proper time' or 'opportunity'. I will use a related Ancient word (not necessarily Greek) throughout this guide as a sort of theme. And don't Google Translate any of them; most of the time, you'll get something different. For example, _καιρ_ _ό_ _ς_ means 'weather' in  Modern Greek. That doesn't relate at all.

It's important for your sentences and paragraphs to relate to the last and to flow together. You don't want a lot of "They said." "They said." "They said." It becomes bland and choppy (repetition is good in some cases, but not here!). You need paragraphs in between. Your chapters shouldn't be almost entirely dialogue (Believe me, I've seen _stories_ like that. Comment if you're guilty of this.), but it shouldn't be all description, either (unless you're writing a story like this one or similar). We're writing a fanfiction, not a "work of literary merit" **(as my Honors Language teacher likes to call them)**. You're not going to win a Pulitzer, and you'll just bore anyone who isn't me; no one wants to read looog blocks of text for fun (except for TLotR. _That's_ a good series **(I have yet to finish it)** ).

The paragraph above is an example of a 'tricker' paragraph. It looks good on the outside, but there are too many interruptions that make it really choppy and a little hard to follow. Some of you even read it twice to make sure you got everything from there. You don't want five parentheses in one paragraph, and the author's notes pull you out of the immersiveness of the story. It reminds you that the story is just a story, giving you a nasty reality check, and it breaks the flow of the story. They should be used sparingly.

Well, it's 3:09 AM here in New Rome, and I'd better get to sleep. I'll post the story later because I feel like I'm dying from exhaustion. Just watch there be a painful mistake in grammar or something.

I didn't reread it, what can I say.

Well evèrybody, goodnight (morning?), sleep well, and sleep long.

~Annabeth C.

* * *

 **Well, what did you think?**

 **Each chapter will (ideally) be this long, 1000 words,** **250.**

 **Yes, that time was real. It was 4:09 when I typed that. I accounted for time zone differences (you can guess where I live now. how lovely.), so yeah.**

 **Pity me.**

 **Good nighorning, everyone.**

 **~You all know my name, I don't need to write it here :)**

 **Watch the name thing, 'nighorning', and more things that might look like they're supposed to be funny not be funny once I get some SLEEP. It's actually pathetic how it's so funny now. I'm trying not to burst out laughing. And everyone is sleeping. :).**

 **P.S. If you see 'è' it means that you pronounce the e. It isn't silent. So evèry is pronounced \Ĕ-vər-ē\, not \ĔV-rē\\. I will use this most when I'm really tired and giggly, or, as I call it, "drunk on happiness." It's that giggliness you get when it's 10-11 PM.**


	3. Ἦθος

_**Ukh.**_ **This may be my last chapter for a few weeks...**

 **My dad took away my phone for a** ** _month,_** **and he's going to supervise me using** ** _my own laptop._** **"You** ** _have_** **to use it for schoolwork** ** _only,_** **" he says. "I don't want you getting** ** _distracted_** **," he says. So unless I have schoolwork to do, he has my laptop.**

 **This is probably one of my last days of freedom.**

 **:'(**

 **Oh, and the reason I'm updating late is because, in case you don't know,** ** _it's pretty hard to be discreet on a laptop._** **On a phone. you can just sit in a corner and type for a few hours, but on a laptop, you can't do that.**

 **The laptop is really big and the battery life is really small.**

 **So I have to type this at 11:23 PM when everyone's asleep (except for your older sister and your older cousin, who just don't care about what you're doing).**

 _ ***Sigh*. What joy.**_

 **So I'll have to discover a different way to type these up. If there even is one.**

* * *

I'm not even going to explain my absence over the last two weeks simply because I'm tired and I want to finish this as soon as possible.

Here we go. 2000+ words. So help me, gods.

Today, I want to talk to you about _rectitūdō_ and _insulsitās_.

When you write your stories, keep everything consistent.

That means looking back at your story if you don't remember, say, a minor character's name.

For example, if you have a character named Jane, then, when you mention her after a year of not doing so, _don't call her Jenny_ **(You could learn from this, Uncle Rick.)** ; her name is Jane. Keep it that way.

Once I was reading a story and the author made up a brand new character. _OK, cool,_ I thought. The author described what they looked like. _Yeah, nice, now I know what they look like now._ The story went on, and all was just fine and dandy. Next chapter, the character comes again. _Oh, sweet, the new character came._

Then I am provided with a completely new description of the character **and a really awkward A/N that basically said, "Haha, I forgot what my own character looks like. Whoops. Well here's a new description of her, and this is what she will look like from now on.**

Oh, she forgot what her character looks like. Don't worry, it happens to everyone. What I don't understand is why she didn't hit 'save' and look at her previous chapters. Or not put that glaringly obvious Author's Note there. Or not even describe her at all in that section, since the readers know what she looks like.

You could have the best story in the world. The very best. Nothing like it. But if it's inconsistent, the organization will fall apart a little, and (worse), your readers will be confused, _which is one of the last things you want happening._

Your writing will quickly lose popularity because, despite what they'll tell you, people like well-written stories. If the words flow, if the events and descriptions all align, the readers will enjoy the work much more than a story whose wording needs to be deciphered and whose characters constantly change. Most people don't want to be cryptologists for a reason.

Actually, one tip to write better is to use a more diverse vocabulary in your works. Rather than use "sea-green" all the time, spice it up and use "teal" or "aquamarine" or even "viridian." The 250,000+ words in the English language are all at your disposal. Here is a nice example of a not-very-well-written story:

 **You're Welcome: A Fluffy Percabeth Oneshot**

o0o0ooo0oo00o0o000o0o0ooo0oo0o0oooo0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she said.

"How are you?" he said.

"Good," she said. "How about you?" she said.

"I'm fine," he said. "Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome," she said.

"I'm Percy," he said, looking into her beautiful stormy and cloudy gray eyes. "What's your name?" he said.

"I'm Annabeth," she said, looking into his beautiful emerald- and sea-green eyes. "Nice to meet you," she said.

"Nice to meet you too," he said, leaning in. He had only known this girl for a few seconds and he already wanted to kiss her so much.

"Thanks," she said, leaning in. She had only known this boy for a few seconds and she already wanted to kiss him so much.

Their lips met, and then there were fireworks.

After a few minutes of kissing, he replied, "You're welcome."

o0o0o0o00o0o0oo0o0ooo0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 **Hey guys! Here's another oneshot just for you! *heart emoji* *hug emoji* *kiss emoji***

 **I hope you liked it, it took me an hour to type (SO worth the effort!)**

 **I was literally crying while I was typing it, it's so cute!**

 **Ok, love you guys XOXOXOXO**

 **~~IShipPercabeth4EVR**

Reviews:

"Aww, that was adorable!" -MrsRiordan1243

"OMG, so cute!" -PercyChase3823

"So fluffy! It made me cry" -TearsofJoy2139

oo0oo0oo000o0o00o0o00o0o000o0o0o0o00o0o0o00o0o0o00o

The abomination I just typed is less cringy than some multichapter material I've seen.

Here's a list of everything wrong with this, uh, _sampler_ :

1\. "he said." "she said." "he said." "she said." There's too much of that. The first step to fixing it would be to just keep the first two and cut out almost all the rest, leaving a few in order to keep track of who's talking. The second is to replace "said" with literally any other verb of speech. To every author reading this: I challenge you to write an entire CHAPTER of one of your works without using the word "say" or any of its derivatives. See how far you get without encountering the urge to succumb to its grasp.

2\. The dialogue is really terrible. It's bland, and it's probably the conversation you'd have with your teacher in the hallways: "Hey, Mr. Teacher!" "Hey, David! How are ya?" "I'm good! How about you?" "I'm fine, thanks!" "Mhm!" To fix it, think of a scenario (but don't make it too cheesy and clichéd, unless you really want to for some reason) whence the conversation will stem from, like if Percy accidently steps on my white high heels on the crosswalk and starts apologizing profusely. And buys me a new pair because he's that sweet...

3\. oo0oo0oo000o0o00oo00o00oo00o0o0o0o00o0o0o00o0o0o00o: Is it _really_ that hard to press the 'horizontal line' button? This collection of os and 0s is awkward, and it's way worse on mobile.

4\. Never _ever_ type out *the name of the emoji you want*. It looks _really_ unprofessional, and the cringe level gets way higher way faster. It's not friendly, just awkward.

5\. The story itself is just _bad._ It's unrealistic, it's boring, it's unengaging, and I would never kiss someone after knowing them for so short a time.

The sad thing is, too many stories like this are flooding the Percy Jackson fanfiction page. They're illegally crossing the border from bad-writings-land to fanfiction, and we need to keep them out. We need to write good stories and make fanfiction great again.

Wait, it's 2017, right? Who's the new president? Who were the nominees, anyway? I'm sorry, being a demigod makes it difficult to follow politics.

The ultimate goal of writing is to put your ideas into the world in a manner engaging to your audience. Remember how I told you that you could have the best story in the world? The very best? Nothing like it? Well, if you write it and the phrasing is awkward and bland, no one will care. You could have an incredible idea that the world _has_ to see, but if it's poorly written, indifference prevails.

If you take it too extreme, though, it will also be bad:

 **New Shoes**

I, Annabeth Chase, was walking down the busy streets of New York on my way to work at the biggest architecture firm one day wearing my brand new shoes. They were 3" high heels, pure white, like snow, or possibly like white paint, or even like a piece of printer paper, and shiny, like the lacquer on floors, or the gloss in lipgloss, or even like the thin layer of water on an ice cube. As I walk, a guy of medium-tallish height walks up, and I can't help but notice him. His hair was as black as ebony, or as charcoal, or even the eternal darkness of the universe, longish and wavyish, the best of both worlds, just like how Goldilocks had the best porridge, or how the Earth is just warm enough to have liquid water but not so warm that it all evaporates, or even how good books are long enough to have good content but not so long it's boring.

Then he steps on my new, pearly shoes.

"I'm _so_ sorry!" he apologized. "I really mean it!"

"Hmph. These were brand new," I replied, holding on to my pride. "And I can't clean these shoes without ruining them _even more_."

"I'll buy you new ones as an apology."

"No, I'm fine." I wasn't going to let some _male_ buy me new shoes.

"I insist."

"Okay." He is pretty hot ( _ ***HUH***_ Did I just think that?), and it would be nice for him to buy me some new shoes. I could use him and get some nicer ones.

* * *

We walked to the shoe store. We weren't in Manhattan, so the mall it was in was pretty big, I'd have to say almost 1,000,000 ft² split up between its two buildings. It was mostly white and beige, four stories high, with a crosswalk connecting the two buildings on the second floor, over 92nd St. We walked in the mall, looking for a shoe store, until we settled on Michael Kors, which is on the Southeastern side of the mall.

"Ooh, these shoes look nice!"

"Nah, I like _these_ better."

"How about these?"

It went on like that for another 16 minutes, 43 seconds, and 231 milliseconds until:

"Oh, look at _these_ beauties!"

They were white slip on pumps, 2.75" high, with a wrapped heel, 100% leather inside and out, made in Italy, and they were gorgeous. The heel part was white with a steel-looking base, semicircular in shape, the sole was white, the inside was beige, and the front of the shoe had a silver-colored decorative chain, with little flappy pieces of leather sticking out from underneath the chain. And they were $340.00.

"These are beautiful!"

"I know, right?"

"But they're expensive..."

"$340.00? Puh-lease. For you, I'd pay $850.00 without blinking an eye."

I was taken aback by his sweet-as-sugar comment. Indeed, the price tag said, '$̶8̶5̶0̶.̶0̶0̶ **$340.00!** '

"Nice shoes you're getting for your girlfriend!"

"What–"

"We're not–"

"Denial is the first step *wink*. Have a good day!"

* * *

We left in a flurry of awkwardness, as awkward as cracking a joke and having no one laugh, or as knocking on the wrong door when visiting someone, or even as showing up to an event two hours late.

* * *

We later ran into each other at a café, a small little thing, cozy as the warm hearth during Christmastime, or as a nice, soft blanket after a stressful day, or even as a relaxing cup of black tea with some lemon, and made some conversation. I was still a little mad about the shoe thing, but he _was_ pretty nice. We said was nothing much, just discussing what happened earlier that day, and then,

"Hey, I don't even know your name!"

"Yeah, me too!"

We told each other our name, age, job, and something interesting about ourselves.

"We should exchange phone numbers."

"Yeah, I agree. It would be nice talking to you."

* * *

I was always happy that he stepped on my shoes that day. I never wore the pair he bought me, for fear of ruining them, until our wedding day.

* * *

 **Hello, readers. How did you like my 741,478,526,964,852,314,782,892nd story?**

 **It took me 15 minutes to write, and I have to say, I don't know why I haven't won a Pulitzer at this point. *hair flip***

 **I'm that good.**

 **Anyway, my next story comes out in an hour, so be sure to leave plenty reviews.**

 **The best author on earth,**

 **~Prissella**

* * *

Reviews:

"OMG, I LOVE your work!" -Riordina8427

Reply: "I know you do." -Prissella

"Another great story from the best author on earth!" -ChasingPercy9474

Reply: "Ugh, don't you mean the universe?! The earth is too small." -Prissella

Reply to Reply: "Oh my gods, I'm SO sorry! I just thought the earth was the limit!" -ChasingPercy9474

Reply to Reply to Reply: "Well, on that basis, I MIGHT forgive you." -Prissella

"That was the most well-written and clear piece of art I've read in my entire life" -BelieverofReaders2473

Reply: "It was, wasn't it." -Prissella

* * *

It really wasn't, BelieverofReaders2473. It really wasn't.

I designed this text to be the opposite of the one right before to demonstrate what would happen if the fixes were taken too far.

First of all, there were only 3 or 4 indicators of 'who's talking' in the whole thing. Tell me, who said the last line? I bet you can't tell for sure who did. It was actually Percy. But that isn't very clear in the text. In fact, the readers never find out his name. We just assume that it's Percy. Another issue with the dialogue is that the transition between passage and speech is really awkward. Here, the author usually uses a just starts with the dialogue. It's very abrupt and doesn't flow well at all, breaking the fluidity of the story. The dialogue is also really boring and bland, one of the worst enemies of authors all around the universe (unless your readers like getting bored for sone reason).

Secondly, there are too many descriptors. Yeah, it's nice to give an idea to your readers of what something looks like, but in this, there's too much. I'm sure the story could be cut down to ¾ of its length if the description was toned down a lot. It's really restrictive and it undermines one of the best qualities of books: filling in gaps in the description using your own imagination. There's also a sizeable amount of unnecessary information, like "I was still a little mad about the whole shoe thing [...]" We don't need to know that. It's completely unnecessary.

Thirdly, this thing ↓

* * *

is really abrupt, and it's used too much in so many works. Whenever the horizontal bar is used, the massive separator kind of pulls readers out of immersion. On mobile, it isn't as big a problem because of the smaller screen, but on desktop and tablet, it just cuts through the whole page. It's like reading a book and suddenly, there's a nice .5" wall of blankness. That is a nasty yank out of immersion and suspends the suspension of disbelief, creating doubts about the work. Instead of using a giant horizontal bar, use transition words and have your paragraphs and scenes flow together. Create the feeling of time passing by using temporal words, not a big gray line. Only use it if you _really_ have to, like a _major_ scene change.

* * *

*ahem* Now let me tell you about those two Latin words, _rectitūdō_ and _insulsitās_.

 _Rectitūdō_ means straightness or consistency. Your stories must be as straight to the point as you want to allow it, and they must also be consistent.

 _Insulsitās_ means unsalty or bland, and from that comes the meaning boring or unwitty. You never want _īnsulsae fābulae_. They are the _worst_ to read. We all hate them, and the entire point I wrote this guide is to prevent this.

I will now share a story with you:

"There was once a baby show among the Animals in the forest. Jupiter provided the prize. Of course all the proud mammas from far and near brought their babies. But none got there earlier than Mother Monkey. Proudly she presented her baby among the other contestants. As you can imagine, there was quite a laugh when the Animals saw the ugly flat-nosed, hairless, pop-eyed little creature. 'Laugh if you will,' said the Mother Monkey. 'Though Jupiter may not give him the prize, I know that he is the prettiest, the sweetest, the dearest darling in the world.' _Mother love is blind._ " -Aesop

We, the authors, are the mothers, and our stories are the baby. The only difference is that all the other animals are too nice to laugh.

Open your eyes, mothers. See how ugly your babies really can be.

* * *

 **I did not expect to end with Aesop, but it happened.**

 **It took me a day to write it because at 2 AM my grandma walks into my room :)**

 **I had to hide my laptop under the mattress ;)**

 **Then I start again at 11 PM on Sunday. Ended at 1:36 AM ¦|**

 **We went to a really cool book fair earlier today at the state fairgrounds. I got four books: _Piers the Plowman_ by William Langland edited by Walter William Skeat, _Die Erben Timurs_ by Arnold Höllriegel, _Shakespeare: Der Dich und sein Wert_ by Max Josef Wolff, and _Paleografia Româno-Chirilică_ by Emil Vîrtosu (this one is for my friend).**

 **I don't know German. I'm planning to learn it, though.**

 **I'm also painfully aware that this author's note at the end is really bad for that final statement Annabeth made there, but oh well.**

 **kthx, c u sat bai**

 **—Prissella**


	4. Actually know what you're doing

***AHEM***

 **I'm now active**

 **So here's a chapter for you**

* * *

I just have something to tell you about Percy before I begin.

One of our kind readers **(A/N *cough* yours truly *cough*)** left a review telling us who won the election. After I read it, I realized that I have internet and I could've just googled it.

Oh well.

Well anyway, Percy actually cried when he heard the news. He cried so much I was drinking liberal tears for the rest of that day instead of water. At least he's Poseidon's son.

But I still can't believe I didn't search it up earlier, which had reminded me...

I was reading some stories a little while ago when I came across some set in a foreign country, one which I happened to know all about. _Neat,_ I thought. _This one looks interesting._

I couldn't _believe_ anything written there, though. I mean, no one pays for college in Sweden. Clearly, the author had no clue what they were writing about, and that really robbed me of my suspension of disbelief. It acutally gives me physical pain when an author doesn't know what _ὀρθός_ is.

Do some research.

If you don't know about location X, don't go all **A/N i dont kno about x so if i get it rong jst ber w/ me lol** on us, especially if someone who knows about location X reads your story. They will judge you.

Now let me ask you: do you have WiFi? _You do?!_ _Wow, me too!_ Well then, since you m̶i̶r̶a̶c̶u̶l̶o̶u̶s̶l̶y̶ have an internet connection, why don't you open you preferred internet browser, go to this cool website called _Google,_ and type "location X" into the white box in the center of the window. That's called a _search._ Then find the result that says  Location X - Wikipedia and click on it. Then you read.

(Yes, I know that Wikipedia isn't very reliable, but it's way better than nothing. And it's certainly easier than looking at other hunting for other websites when Wikipedia is just *right there*)

Now imagine that we are all French. We have just finished reading a book set in America and we can't wait to write some fics about it. Let's make it a high school AU. Ok, they're going to _lycée_ , since that's the French equivalent of high school. That's very understandable. But then the story says, _"Je suis en Première."_ The American kids are _not_ , and I repeat are NOT in _Première._ They're in 11th grade, or _11e année._ That might look very foreign to a French person, but that's how it is here in America. Same thing for us. Never set a high school in France and say that they're in 11th grade. They're in first grade (France has this weird system of grades; it goes backwardsish (it's more complicated than that)).

An example of one thing that really annoys me is whenever someone does a castle AU, this is what happens:

 _I tightened my corset, nearly suffocating. I then dragged myself to my poofy, overly-complicated pink dress. I struggled to put the damn thing on. For 15 minutes I stood there, putting on each piece, taking breaks so that I wouldn't suffocate. I then walked out of my room. "Your majesty," said one of my servants, "it is time for thy lesson" "Ugh," I replied. "How many times have I told you to just call me me by my name? I don't need any of this 'your majesty' nonsense." I hated being so controlled all the time. I hated being told how to sit right, how to write right, even how to hold a fork right. I hated being judged constantly. I just wanted to roam free in the beautiful Greek countryside._

Ok, first of all, Greece hasn't had princesses since hundreds of years before Christ (not counting the oh-so-brief Kingdom of Greece in the 20th Century—those rulers weren't even Greek, anyway). A more realistic situation would be the daughter of a Byzantine Praitōr or Kephalē, or maybe a Basileus. Byzantine dress wasn't poofy either; that's a Catholic thing, and the Greeks _hated_ the Catholic Church. To them, Catholics were just a bunch of Germanic barbarians. Even if they did wear poofy dresses, they most certainly wouldn't have put it on by themselves. You're kidding me. A princess doing such a lowly task as _dressing?_ Especially in those _really complicated_ clothes? Those things are downright _impossible_ to put on by yourself. Also, no one wore corsets so tight that they were having trouble living. Corsets were worn to improve posture; waist-shortening was an extra benefit. A powerful princess would never be so informal with her servants, either—that would have been very unprincipled. This author also clearly doesn't know how to use thou, thee, ye, and you (I'll tell you later). The princess wouldn't have grumbled so much about being taught how to do things correctly, too. Actually, the correct way to do those things is the easiest way to do it (i.e. more control over the pen and fork) and the best for your body (sitting properly will prevent your back from stooping in old age, while holding a pen correctly means you can write without your fingers/wrist hurting after a while), and, thus, this person clearly has never been taught how to do those things properly. Sad. Lastly, I think one of the last things the princess would want to do is roam the countryside like a free little mouse. What princess would mingle with such petty plebeians or get killed or have any other bad thing happen to her?

Ok, onto thou, thee, ye, and you. Do you remember subjective and objective case and singular and plural from good old grammar class? I doubt it. Here's a refresher: _I_ is subjective singular, and _me_ is objective singular, while _we_ is subjective plural, and _us_ is objective plural. So, following that pattern, _thou_ is subjective singular, and _thee_ is objective singular, while _ye_ is subjective plural, and _you_ is objective plural. Simple enough, right? No. Grammar still hateth us. Whenever thou'rt talkynge to someone who thou need'st to regarden with respect, thou wouldst usest the plural, i.e. _ye/you_ instead of thou/thee, which is why tellynge a princess 'thy' is so terrible.The reason why we always use the old plural now is because one of the English Monarchs declared that we will always be polite.

I'm not about to tell you usest vs. useth. I'm not a teacher.

Even though I'm smart, I'm not a walking encyclopædia, either. If you want to find out more information on something, use this cool website called _Google,_ and type whatever you're looking for into the white box in the center of the window. That's called a _search._ Then find a result that looks promising and click on it. Then you read. For example, if you want to find out useth vs. usest, search it up.

Now to tell you about _ὀρθός._ In Ancient Greek, it means straightness, just like _rectitūdō_ , but it also means correctness. Many people don't know or don't care (usually this one) about what is factually correct. They'll just type away.

I think I've undermined the gravity of inaccuracy in this chapter.

*Deep breath* (no, it's not "deep breath **e** ". That one is a verb, pronounced brēT͟H.)

Imagineif a cosmologist at NASA assumed that the conditions on Mars were the same in the moon (just with red dust instead of grey dust), and didn't bother to check the reality. Imagine how many people could die if his indifference wasn't caught and he wasn't fired. People need to get into the habit of fact-checking everything they hear or write about. We get big political messes that way (*cough* now *cough*).

Help prevent big political messes, O future generation of voters. Always fact-check your sources (especially the media—that place was a _hot mess_ ).

And use Google. The gods placed it there for a reason.

* * *

 **Wow, this chapter was _random._**

 **It just radiated me-ness right there, drifting along like ADHD thoughts.**

 **Feels good to be back, just not at 3:37 AM when I feel dead (and it's not spring break for me yet, that's next week)**

 **Sometimes I seriously wonder what I'm doing g with my life.**

 **Well, conservatives, let's all toast on liberal tears.**

 **And liberals, let's all toast on stockpiled Obama-Era conservative tears.**

 **Just kidding.**

 **Ok see you on Saturday**

 **Bye**


	5. Analyze their behavior and imitate it!

**#itsspringbreakandiforgot**

 **#dontkillme**

 **#extracontentagain**

 **#ontimeforonce**

* * *

I just looked through a bunch of stories, and I must make it perfectly clear how important it is to keep a sense of _խառնուած_.

I feel like this is the millionth time I said this.

For example, the Jason x Percy ship would never work. Neither would Percy x Rachel. Because he's m-i-n-e _**MINE**_. I would never let someone touch my Percy, and no AU nonsense would stop that, Aphrodite wouldn't have it. The gods as a unit are omnipotent, so AUs don't affect them.

I don't care about what you say. If you want to be _politice correctus_ (try to guess what it means) toward us, then don't ship anything that isn't on Annabeth's Approved Ship-List: Percabeth, Jasper/Jiper, Frazel, Caleo, and any marriages. For Rachel, I'll let you be creative since teenagers usually aren't celibate (and you guys write fanfics, _"The Land Where Highschool AUs are_ Way _too Common for Their Own Good"_ ).

No more Pertemis or Perzoë (Pro tip: if the diæresis isn't available to you (or any accent, for that matter), ggrks. It's not that hard to do.), those ships are blasphemous. Also because of my, ah, _strong feelings_ toward them. No Jercy, Perachel, Pipercy, Perank, Hazercy, Perlia, Perleo, Nicercy, Perluke, Perlypso, Herercy (eugh), Aphropercy (blech), or _any non-Percabeth ship._ Or else I'll have your head.

On that happy note, let's get back to _स्वभाव_ for now. _We can settle this later._

When you're writing your story, try to imagine the character actually doing what you've written down. Oftentimes, people just write stuff down without thinking, _Would the person_ actually _do any of that?_

Your story could be great. Fabulous, even. You made no mistakes, the wording is clear and fluid, but everyone's OOC. Your readers are unable to _see_ anything going on.

And that makes your story bland.

Many times, I've noticed writers experiencing what I'm now calling a _canon-disconnect_. The writers stop going by the book and instead start following the series of tropes and clichés of the fandom (Ex. Tratie).

So whenever Percy, Jason, or one of the other girls reads your works, they get confused because they know what actually happened. They have _all of the minor details memorized, and we've read the books enough to times to be able to recite them word-for-word. Even with our ADHD and dyslexia._

(It was all Frank, really. Since he doesn't have either condition, he translated the books to Latin in his spare time. From there, I translated the books to Ancient Greek. Now even Percy can read them.)

The Internet is your friend, my friends. Just steer clear of /b/ and the like, and you'll be good.

Well, here's the infamous Highschool AU. Enjoy.

* * *

You didn't! **(256K words)**

Ch.1

 **Hey, everyone! This is Prissella back with another story. So the other day, [insert story on the greatness of Our Lady Prissella].**

* * *

Percy P.O.V.

My name is Percy Jackson. I'm 16 years old, and I have to admit that I'm kind of a nerd.

One day I went to school, Goode Highschool,

 ***SKIP** **3 CHAPTERS***

Ch.4

 **Ah, I've been waiting to do Annabeth's point of view. Ugh, you won't BELIEVE what my boyfriends did! They [insert 3 paragraphs of Prissella's personal drama here], so I'm, like, really mad right now. Enjoy, or else.**

* * *

Annabeth P.O.V.

"Annabeth, you're going to be late on the first day! It's already 5:30!" called my stepmom, Helen/Susan. She's so cruel to me.

"Helen/Susan, let me sleep some more!"

Allow me to introduce myself. My name's Annabeth. I'm 16 years old, and I have to admit that I _hate_ school.

I'd rather sit at home and weave all day.

I don't know why, but ever since I was a little girl I was just really good at weaving, whether it be tapestries, dresses, or even baskets,

 ***SKIP A LITTLE MORE***

Ch.6

 **Back to Percy! Hey, guys, there's this really cool show on Netflix I want you to check out called Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, and I just want to say [spouts about the show for 2 paragraphs, so you guys should totally watch it! It's great because *I* said it is.**

* * *

Percy P.O.V.

*clutter*

*worthless information*

*mess of unnecessary details*

I could not take my eyes off her. "Who's that?" I asked my friend Grover. "Oh, she's the new girl! I heard that she

 ***BLA BLA BLA, MORE DETAILS***

"OH! IT'S ANNABETH! C'MERE, AAAANNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Shouted my amazing cousin Thalia.

"HEY! ELECTRA! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME ANNIE‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽"

 ***SKIP SOME MORE...***

Ch.13

 **Ok, guys, I have something REALLY important to tell you guys. Donald Trump [insert 281,973,829,837 paragraphs of anti-Trump rhetoric]. And that's why we need to stop him. So [insert many anti-Trump protest actions]. He's so annoying, too Why are men ALWAYS LIKE THIS?**

* * *

Annabeth P.O.V.

 ***CHAPTER EXPOSITION***

"And Percy Jackson will be paired with Annabeth Chase."

Oh, God.

Not that smart-alec Percy, Thalia's cousin.

 ***DETAILS PLUS PATHETIC BACKSTORY WITH DRAMATIC OVERREACTION, HAPPENED _YEARS_ AGO (MAYBE IN LIKE SECOND OR THIRD GRADE)***

And that's why I hate him.

 ***SKIPPITY DOO DAH, SKIPPITY DAY~***

"Hmph. No." I was not going to tarnish my pride.

 ***SHIPPITY DOO DAH, SHIPPITY DAY~***

Ch.37

*in an empty classroom*

*mwah* *mwah*

*noise*

*rush out of room*

*bad stuff happens*

*luke is behind everything, wow i totally didnt expect it*

 ***COMPLETE IRRELEVANCE***

Ch.77 - THE MAGICAL WEDDING

 ***LOTS OF FLUFF***

"I do."

"I do, too."

I slapped his arm playfully, not realizing we were on the altar. "Percy, stop."

 ***MWAH, MWAH, _ROMANCE_.***

* * *

 **This is one of the greatest masterpieces to Grace the planet Earth. You know, I don't really like the name "Earth". It should be renamed to "Prissellon", it suits the place MUCH betterly.**

 **Tata, my adoring fans. Kisses,**

 **╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)━ ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ~Prissella**

* * *

Reviews:

"Omg, that story was amazing! The characters were great." -AUQueen4663

Reply: "Why aren't you crying tears of joy?!" -Prissella

Reply to Reply: ":')" -AUQueen4663

Reply to Reply to Reply: "Good." -Prissella

"This is the most original piece of art to ever Grace the Earth." -AllAboardSSPercabeth1953

Reply: "Did you mean: Prissellon" -Prissella

Reply to Reply: "Oh my gods, I totally slipped up! I repent!" -AllAboardSSPercabeth1953

Reply to Reply to Reply: "You BETTER!" -Prissella

"This story has changed my life forever :')" -Annabae4643

Reply to Reply: "Um, I already know that." -Prissella

* * *

You're probably confused after reading this, and I'm going to change that.

What I've just created is a massive piece of work commonly found in the top charts of each fandom. Common traits include cliffhangers, excessive details, and effective use of cliché. I'll be honest, many of these ambitious projects are brilliant and unique. In fact, most of them are. It's just that they start to deviate from the _fan_ part of fanfiction. The characters become less like their actual selves. I've seen stories where I am an extremely insecure person. I'm not insecure _at all_. That's not my hubris speaking, either. In fact, most of you don't actually know how a proud person thinks. Pride does NOT equal obstinance. It can occasionally cause it, but it usually doesn't. Pride is satisfaction in something, often yourself. Proud people often (but not always!) have relatively high self-esteem and self-confidence, causing them to be bold. Their pride enables them to become _unreasonably_ bold. Their boldness stems from the desire to self-satisfy, and it can lead them into trouble. Proud people also know when doing something would make them look ridiculous, and they wouldn't be able to _stand_ the thought of being publicly humiliated. It's not satisfying. (I don't mean satisfying like "The Most Satisfying Video In The World - YouTube". That's different.)

So if someone told me that I got a question wrong, I would acknowledge the mistake I made because that's what makes me look good. If someone told me to take out the trash, I wouldn't go, "No, it's beneath me," I would take it out because it makes me look responsible, and that's a good thing. I would also take satisfaction in getting something productive done.

Stop confusing pride, arrogance, and ego. They're not the same thing. They can cause one another, and they often appear together, _but they're separate things._

Let's get back to critiquing.

Percy the Nerd. Oh _boy_. There will be a magical immortal child ruling the Galaxy as Emperor of a Christian kingdom before Percy likes studying. I get it, creative license, making people a little OOC, but just stop for a moment. I want you to pull up a picture of Percy. Look at him, read the books all over again if you need to, and just imagine the child happy to study. _Oh, if I do *this* to the equation, a tachyon appears, and that will mean that ∆p=0.034_ _…_. That's utterly _ridiculous_. Right now, he'd barely be in college without me. The great thing about fanfiction is that if you need particular qualities in a character, they're already there. Just choose the right character and be on your way, tweaking a little if necessary. Don't give Percy my personality. Use me instead.

Another thing to note is that the "Oh, I've always just somehow, through some weird magic, been able to do this" explanation will _not_ work for mortal AUs. I hate to admit it, but in those AUs, there is only One True God, and He doesn't grant abilities on a whim unless you specifically state so.

Read the story again, but this time, think to yourself, _Would they actually do that? Do they actually feel that way? Is their_ խառնուած _accurately portrayed?_

Here's one more thing: FANFICTION IS NOT A PLACE TO DISCUSS YOUR LIFE. If you really want to go down that path, go to Tumblr, Reddit or 4chan. The only things we need to hear are excuses or things going on that could affect the fate of the story.

Now the meanings of _स्वभाव_ and _խառնուած_ : The first one, svabhāva (IPA [sʋəˈbʱaːʋə]), means "nature" or "temperament" and it comes from Sanskrit. The second word, xaṙnuac (IPA [χɑrnəˈvɑt͡s]), means "nature" or "character" and it comes from Old Armenian.

You must take our character into account when you write our stories. Annabeth wouldn't be a good waitress, for example (too impatient).

I mean, seriously. What's up with that?

* * *

 **I DECLARE A SHIPPING WAR: PERCABETH, JASPER/JIPER, CALEO, & FRAZEL VS ALL!**

 **If you know Sanskrit and what I put is wrong, tell me.**

 **Annabeth gave Percy a thrashing in this chapter, didn't she?**

 **I'm actually surprised that Le Lenny Face and the IPA Characters were allowed by the site.**

 **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** **(⌐■_■) ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ** **༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽**

 **Now we know what to use instead of *whatever emoji* *wink emoji ;)***

 **I already have the next chapter planned. It's gonna be great.**

 **Oh, by the way, that show Prissella mentioned is a real one and I actually recommend you to watch it. The ships are veerry interesting (hint: love square with two people). Netflix for US folks, on TV nearly everywhere else. It's called** _ **Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir**_ **.**

 **I've just realized how random this end not looks. Oh, well.**

 **Til next time!**

 **-Աստուած**


	6. Unignorance (i dont care its not a word)

**Hey everyone, I'm happy to announce that I finally stole the WiFi password (since my dad changed it to punish me) and I can update now.**

 **I _also_ have a _very_ important question for y'all: how did you like Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir?**

 **I'm so glad that you actually watched it!**

 **I'll also tell you right now that if you want the IPA characters, foreign alphabets, and emoticons to look _not weird_ , switch the font to Noto Sans.**

 **It's legit the only one that properly renders the characters.**

* * *

Point of View is one of the most important aspects of a story, and it's such a simple thing to use.

So I start to burn on the inside when I see that people manage to get it wrong.

And it happens _all the time_.

One common thing I see is:

 _I could not take my eyes off her legs._ Damn _, she was sexy._ _( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ _Then she noticed me staring._

 _"Percy, why are you staring?" my best friend Annabeth asked me._

 _At that moment, I hated testosterone._

 _"Sorry that I'm a teenage boy. Hormones."_

Puh- _lease_. I, being myself, know enough psychology and neurology to know that teenage boys don't think that (usually). Even better, I have a boyfriend who's eighteen years old, meaning that he's already experienced most of his teenage years. And if that isn't enough for you, I'm in contact with this super-great teenage boy named David. Instead of staring at legs all day, he stares at computer screens, whether he be typing/reading on FanFiction, doing his homework (ideally), or doing vector art (badly, no offense). No legs.

Granted, there are some nasty boys out there, but for the most part, guys look at our faces.

Not our butts.

(Unless your face _is_ on your butt, or vice-versa. In that case, I'll pray for you † (or or الإسلام or ॐ or 道家思想 (don't want to be racist, do I)))

Anyway, I just want to tell you guys that you quite _անտեղեակ_ about mentalities that aren't your own.

Just sayin'.

One thing I'd advise you to stay away from is stereotypes. As you likely realize, stereotypes like to be inaccurate. As you likely don't realize, people use them all the time.

The teenage-boy-is-automatically-a-pervert thing is a stereotype. It was born from the vocal minority, and you know how they are.

Ugh. Just, _ugh._

Another thing to note is that guys don't form close friendships like girls do. You will never have guys going to each others' houses, and having an "emergency sleepover" to sort out an "emotional trauma". That's what girls do.

(One thing that both genders do _shamelessly_ is gossip. In fact, guys gossip to the point where I almost don't understand why gossiping is a female stereotype. Doesn't change the fact that all gossip is pure toxic poison, though.)

Let's stay on topic. If you remember middle school English, you'll know that there are 5 points of view: 1st person (narrated using 'I'), 2nd person (narrated using 'you'; the only time you'll see this one is in preschool books and in choose your adventure books. You might as well pretend this one doesn't exist), 3rd person limited (this is the one found in the Heroes of Olympus series. You have an outsider's point of view, but you can get into the head of exactly one person), 3rd person objective (this is like having an invisible commentator), and 3rd person omniscient (this one is like having God narrate. You see what everyone sees, you know what everyone knows).

By far, the most common points of view I've seen are 1st, 3rd limited, and 3rd objective.

It looks like you really enjoy restricting yourself to one point of view. Sure there are some effective ways to use it, like this,

* * *

 **I take that back**

I could go on about this forever. It's outrageous, really.

Oh, sorry, didn't detect your mental presence reading my mind. You must be confused, so I'll tell you exactly why I'm so peeved.

*ahem*

Hi. I'm Annabeth Chase. Nice to meet you.

It all happened 12 days, 46 hours, 163 minutes, 237 seconds ago.

243, 244, 245...

Anyway, so I'm talking with my absolutely _divine_ boyfriend Percy on the beach. It was gorgeous, with an amazing orange-streaked sky, the clouds turning pink, and...

*\play ahem. mp3*

Anyway, so all of a sudden, his divine-ness gets all awkward and stuttery as he nervously fumbles around in his pocket for something until, at last, he procures a richly colored sea-green-green box made of velvet. _Similis oculīs_ _suīs_ I thought.

My mind started to freeze up as I realized what he was doing.

"Annabeð, shalt þou doest þe absolute honour of—"

Of course, the one time I needed to think straight is when I lost my head.

"Why are you speaking Middle English? Who are you, Zoë?"

He huffed at that. "Fine then. If you're gonna be like that, then _I take that back."_

At first, I just rolled my eyes and told him yes, but he continued the act.

And now I am painfully aware that if I had a better grip on my mind, I could have received a promotion from girlfriend to fiancée (although to be fair, Percy did overreact).

What has my life become.

* * *

 **Hey Guys! After a too-long hiatus, I'm finally back! EEEEEP! My life has been awful to me, which is why I've been gone for a month. Heh.**

 **Well anyway, I think that Percy was being a bit too cheeky to Annabeth after his proposal.**

 **I'd break up with him for that.**

 **I also think that the ahem. mp3 thing is one of my more brilliant strokes if genius.**

 **Throwin' it out there for y'all.**

 **Well, I hope you continue to enjoy reading my one-shots!**

 **-SollaStirða**

* * *

Reviews:

"Aww, why would Percy do such a thing?" -Baeson1262

"This story is so cute! I feel really bad for Annabeth, though." -ArtilleryClinton

Reply: "Ooh, nice name!" -SollaStirða

Reply to Reply: ":)" -ArtilleryClinton

"Aww, that Zoë reference almost made me cry. That aside, though, this story was really great!" -DonaldtheBump

Reply: "Oh, I like your name!" -SollaStirða

Reply to Reply: "Why thank you" -DonaldtheBump

* * *

but, as you can see, it's generally effective in shorter stories, like one-shots or novellas, or when you're a Pulitzer prize-worthy author who makes the limitedness of the narration a "feature, not a bug."

I feel like my point isn't coming across effectively. What I mean to say is that when people are writing, they cling to one person's point of view too much. A lot of the time, someone is _technically_ writing in 3rd omniscient, but it might as well be 3rd limited with a shifting point of view indicated by writing,

[insert name here]'s Point of View

which is awkward when not at the beginning of a chapter. I've read stories where it's now the climax of the story. The characters are going to face off. And the author is going to be an angel and totally not interrupt my reading with an abrupt technicality:

* * *

Percy's PoV

*GASP* "LUKE? IT'S BEEN _YOU_ THE WHOLE TIME? wow who woulda guessed i didnt" I said.

"Called it," called the random extradimensional fangirl.

Luke's PoV

"Yes, Percy, it's been me from the very beginning. and ya I wouldnta guessed if i were u either just sayin" I said.

I turned to my creatures and commanded them in their secret language, "Myø-mimi-mü-myi me-myü-mö. Ñiñeñwi-ñiñöñü mye-myæmyæ-mø!" They obliged at once.

Creatures' PoV

Asss our massster commanded usss in our sssecret language, we kept ththinking about the abussse of hisss powersss.

So we overthrew him and all was fine and dandy.

* * *

See? Weren't the PoV changes awkward and abrupt? Because there are so many parties in situations such as this , a 3rd person omniscient point of view is necessary :

* * *

Percy gasped in surprise, "LUKE? IT'S BEEN _YOU_ THE WHOLE TIME?" He couldn't believe it.

Luke merely shrugged and said, "Yes, Percy, it's been me from the very beginning." Luke understood why Percy was so shocked. He noted that if he were in the same situation, he would have fainted (literally on-the-floor fainted). Percy was taking the shocking news surprisingly well.

He then commanded his creatures in their secret language: "Myø-mimi-mü-myi me-myü-mö. Ñiñeñwi-ñiñöñü mye-myæmyæ-mø!" Not surprisingly, they proceeded to follow every word he told them.

Suddenly, though, something clicked deep inside them. They weren't made for that purpose. The gods didn't make them to cause destruction and chaos.

Their master was abusing his power.

So, they decided to assert themselves by overthrowing him.

The coup went beautifully.

* * *

In quick PoV change situations like that, the ability to quickly and _fluidly_ get into everyone's head is instrumental.

Just remember to use transition words.

Now about _անտեղեակ_ and what it means to us as English speakers. _Անտեղեակ_ means ignorant. Just like y—I'm kidding. (That'll be a lot less funny in the morning, I can tell. Oh well.)

I'm going to end this Chapter here. Bye.

* * *

 **I have finals this week and APs the next, so I won't update next week. And I _just_ stole the WiFi password, too.**

 **Oh, well.**

 **If, for some reason, my finals turn out not to be too difficult, I might surprise you with a new chapter. No promises, though.**

 **And on a side note, if you know where Solla Stirða is from, then you've officially taken We are Number One too far. Or you're Icelandic (I'm not).**

 **Oh, and I haven't done this since chapter 2, but I own nothing written in this story.**

 **I'm also aware that the ending was abrupt, but I wanna sleep. Goodnight.**

 **Bye for now,**

 **-Sportaflop**


	7. Undetailed details

**AHH! APs ended (at least for me)!** **Also** **, regular reviewers, this is the first chapter in a while where you can review.**

 **(It's because of my author's-note chapters that I deleted. The "chapter" disappeared, but your review with the chapter number didn't. So when I posted the new, real chapter, you couldn't review because you _technically_ already reviewed that chapter. Sorry.)**

 **I also want to tell you that the word 'caricature' fits the chapter before the last perfectly, as suggested by ntlpurpolia.**

* * *

Ah, music. The language of the soul.

And the misused messenger of a teenager's fic.

Whenever I'm reading a story and it goes all,

 _I was sitting at my desk doing homework. It was math homework. It said, "Suppose that_ ρ(r _) is the density of the earth at any point_ r _units from the center. What gravitational force does the earth exert on a unit mass inside the earth_ h _units from the center?" I groaned in exasperation. Suddenly, my favorite song popped up on the radio._

Please spare us. I know you like the song, author, but you don't need to transcribe it. Unless it's a songfic, the lyrics of the song aren't necessary to the plot of the story.

Which brings me to my main point: _clutter._

People use an _अधिकम्_ amount of details.

And it's sickening.

I'd be reading a story and I'm bored to _tears_ because of the amount of unnecessary information provided by the author. Yes, I just _need_ to, I'm simply _dying_ to know exactly what math problem you're doing or exactly what your (technically my) favorite song is. (like you'd even get it right in the first place)

By the way, the answer to that problem is [( _GM_ )/ _h_ ]×ʃ( _h_ _, 0, 4πρ_ ( _r_ ) _r_ ) _dr,_ but I bet you don't care.

And that's the point I'm trying to make.

I'm going to give you an example now.

.*Okay now pretend that this is a chapter of a 666K word stereotypical highschool AU whose previous chapter just ended on a cliffhanger confession*.

* * *

 **Percabeth in Highschool**

 **╰(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)━ ﾟ.*･｡ﾟHello, my loyal and devoted fans. It is _môì,_ Prisella.ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ** **━(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 **I hope you've been doing well. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to read my new chapter, and how unfortunate that would be** **ಠ_ಠ**

 **Now** **read, if you value your life.**

* * *

"Oh, Percy," said Annabeth. "I like you, too!"

The walls of the abandoned classroom, Room 205, the AP Calculus BC room where Mr. Kumar taught, were painted a gorgeous diarrhea color. The desks were 3 feet high, just tall enough for Annabeth to lean against them and have Percy smother her with kisses. His lips were a soft pink, I'd say having a hex value of #c46. Percy vaguely noted that she had to take the Calc BC test on Tuesday, but for now the only calculation he could come up with were Annabeth's delicious lips on his.

40 desks in that room, there were. They were leaning on Marinette Dupain-Cheng's desk as we were making out. Annabeth absently thought of how nice and sweet she was and how _her_ desk, out of all of them, didn't deserve to be the grounds of such scandalous behavior.

Oh, well.

.*skip to Annabeth's room, 12 chapters later*.

Percabeth was canon for exactly 3.24×10⁴⁸ _tₚ_ when they went to Annabeth's room. Her room was *I'm too tired to make up more details, and I'm _sure_ you don't want to hear them*

Annabeth started singing to herself.

 _And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed  
_ _Just to get it all out what's in my head  
_ _And I, I'm feeling a little peculiar_

 _And so I wake in the morning and I step outside  
_ _And I take a deep breath and get real high  
_ _And I scream from the top of my lungs  
_ _What's goin' on?_

 _And I say hey, yeah, yeah, yeah yay  
_ _Hey, yay, yay  
_ _I said hey, what's goin' on?_

 _And I say hey, yeah, yeah, yeah yay  
_ _Hey, yay, yay  
_ _I said hey, what's goin' on?_

 _And he tries  
_ _Oh my God, do I try  
_ _I try all the time,  
_ _In this institution_

 _And he prays  
_ _Oh my God, do I pray  
_ _I pray every single day  
_ _(Myaaah!)  
_ _For a revolution!_

 _And I say hey, yeah, yeah, yeah yay  
_ _Hey, yay, yay  
_ _I said hey, what's goin' on?  
_ _And I say hey, yeah, yeah, yeah yay (Don't cry out loud)  
_ _Hey, yay, yay  
_ _I said hey (Just keep it inside)  
_ _(Learn how to hide your feelings)_

 _(Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah yay)  
_ _(Hey, yay, yay)  
_ _Yeah yeah yeah!  
_ _I say hey  
_ _What's goin' on?  
_ _Yeah!_

When Annabeth finished, she was surprised to find Percy crying. His tests were like little glistening diamonds, containing approximately 9‰ NaCl and

* * *

Ok, I've actually had enough of that. I'm not even going to do the reviews because this has exactly 0 reviews.

Tell Prisella that she's left her readers speechless.

Hey, Goddess of Spring-Gems, you agree that Marinette is nice, right?

You know, the rest of you *cough* would know what I'm *cough* talking about if you *cough* took my recommendation *cough*

I bet you all know the issue. You're such good eggs, after all (I'm not being sarcastic, for once).

I bet you can't guess what _अधिकम्_ means. Fun fact: this word is actually in the accusative case. I took the time to research Sanskrit declinations in my pursuit of maintaining _ὀρθός_. That is called not-being-a-hypocrite.

The undeclined word is _अधिक_ , meaning excessive in Sanskrit. Which is what may of you do. Excessive words, excessive details, excessive dragging-of-the-plot, excessive cliffhangers.

 _Stahp it!_

* * *

 **Again, if you know Sanskrit and it's wrong, _tell me_. I don't know Sanskrit, and the Internet doesn't have a whole lot of info on it, so the information I found might be wrong.**

 **Also, I'd like to let you know that the** **song can be found at youtu. be/ _1w2aASUpWQ (with spaces removed**

 **I'm also proud of myself for making exactly 0 political references.**

 **Which is funny, considering that I took the** **AP** **United States Government and Politics Exam today.**

 **Remember, kids, _never_ discuss _any_ part of the examination _ever_ or else College Board will cancel your score. They have spies _everywhere_ that are trained to eavesdrop on your conversation with your friends about Physics 1 question 3e. They have various accomplices scattered _all throughout_ the _whole_ Internet, meaning that my Physics 1 score _is in jeopardy right now_ (it actually isn't because I didn't _discuss_ the question, I only _mentioned_ it, but that's beside the point). They have _many_ ways of finding out that you talked about the Gov FRQ question 4's Supreme Court cases. (That was made up, I don't remember the questions at all. I gladly forgot them as soon as I finished, so my isn't in jeopardy.)**

 **AP testers, good luck!**

 **Get a 5 and do us all proud! Once the scores come out in July, everyone who gets a 5 should tell me what subject it was and they'll receive a shout-out for their accomplishment!**

 **Get a 5 and you'll get a _high_ -five!**

 **HA! I can be funny!**

 **-the cringe is real**


End file.
